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Gay spirituality has been long sought and hard fought. Let’s face it, a large percentage of us grew up in churches that condemned us. It is completely common to go through a strong questioning period where spiritual answers seem out of reach and you end up looking for some sort of confirmation. The problem is that there is no actual confirmation, but the journey is still well worth it.

Many of us began our own form of gay spirituality when we were young. Growing up in our churches we heard things, realized things, and felt like an outsider standing within the ring of fire.

As time went on many of us started searching outside the church for answers. Social justice and a strong desire to move our community into the light became more of our church than the buildings with pastors and priests.

There are all kinds of ways that one may try to find spiritual answers. When gay spirituality was first even mentioned, there was no such thing as an open and affirming church. Instead, there were a few select individuals who saw the plight of our spiritual journey and went out of their way to reach out to the community. Some turn toward that effort and others still turn away, looking for validation in the eyes of their childhood church.

It can be a painful road if you come from a religious background. You may have been subjected to prayer sessions that were supposed to “cure” you or religious studies that openly humiliated you. Thus, in today’s GLBT community there are many who find spirituality solely within themselves.

Sometimes your spiritual answers are all around you. You might find that the miracle of your partner or the miracle of having a family together is enough of an answer. You may be wandering the world and simply gathering bits of a spiritual journey. You don’t have to receive your gay spirituality badge from an actual religious figure if you don’t want to. Your journey is very much within your own control and you have many choices. You can change your options whenever you please as well, making your choices ever more abundant.

Historically, religions and spirituality do not even have to mean the same thing. While we make the associated connection, spiritual beliefs are of a totally different make and model. Religion is a taught belief system. Spiritual beliefs are a felt and internal belief system. Bringing the two together can be make for interesting spiritual journeys but one that can be done in your own way. Having the option to figure out what works for you is really the key.

You can join the open and affirming churches and learn to grasp your gay spirituality if you choose. It can be a great place to debate and discuss. Or you can create your own gay spirit that offers you a reflective chance to decide for yourself. The journey simply never really has to end.